Arr, it be time for PIRATES!

Okay, i love Pirates of the Carribean. I really, really, really love Pirates! And not just because of Johnny Depp. I like the mythology of Davy Jones and Tia Dalma, and i really like the ending of At World's End. SUPER. The games spawned from the movie, however...suck. I blame Bethesda, because they make everything suck.

(I'll put a pic here when i can. Work computers suck!)

Basically, you're Jack and Will and Lizzy, in some asinine story that doesn't even make sense. Jack and the others are strung by their necks by...someone....and Jack is trying to get out of it by telling a batch of nonsequiter stories, including when Elizabeth's house got raided by pirates. Despite Lizzy's voice-over remark ("I don't remember any of that happening!") Jack is shown saving Miss Swann's life while her posh house burns. And she can fight with a sword. Next scene, Will and Jack are traipsing through some jungle trying to find a treasure, for no reason. There's even an ice level and a Far East level, but that's as far as i got before i gave the game away to someone else.

The selling point of the game is that Johnny Depp himself did the voice of Sparrow, but it seemed as though Depp had had WAY too much pirate-ness and was bored to frickin' tears while recording. Instead of the foppishly creative, semi-drunk Jack, we get the "Eh, I'm not sure i really care anymore" apathetic and really sleepy Jack.

Controls....are nonexistant. No camera, and basic controls are button-mash and slash your sword until the enemy falls over. There are some cool puzzle things, like bombs and lots and lots and lots of fire, but the puzzles are either lackluster and boring or impossibly hard because you overlook one tiny detail.

Gamespot's review is a little generous: a 6. I would've given it a 3 just because it's not very fun to play at all. A game is supposed to instill in the player a drive to reach the last level, the last boss, and save the princess...metaphorically speaking. This game falls flat through the pier and sinks miserably into the ocean.